Saturday, November 7, 2009

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

Well it's a dog eat dog
Eat cat too
The French eat frog
And I eat you

AC/DC, “Dog Eat Dog”

All this eating. I need to get some lunch.

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

Girl you're in the kitchen
Cooking me a meal
Something makes me wanna come in there and get a feel
Walk around in your t-shirt
Nothing else on
Strutting pass, switching that ass while I'm on the phone

Cutting up tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes
Girl, you look so sexy while you're doing the damn thing i want

Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed

[snip]

Girl 
I'm 
ready 
to 
toss 
your 
salad

R. Kelly, “In The Kitchen”

Man, I’m getting hungry.

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

Young, black and famous
With money hangin'
Out the anus

—Puff Daddy and Mase, “Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down”

Nice rhyme, though.

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

Now you're amazed
By the VIP posse
Steppin' so hard
Like a German Nazi

—Vanilla Ice, “Play That Funky Music”

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

Wanna kiss your lips, not the ones on your face

Quiet Riot - “Let’s Get Crazy”

Back to hair metal. Much better.

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

Let me let you in on a secret
How to treat a woman right
If you're lookin' for a place in her heart
It ain't gonna happen overnight 
First you gotta learn to listen
To understand her deepest thoughts
She needs to know you can be friends
Before she'll give you all she's got 

Shania Twain, “If You Wanna Touch Her, Ask!”

Like I said, C&W = not cringeworthy. I read this, and all I do is picture is Margaret Mead sitting cross-legged in a big circle of giggling Samoan women, scribbling field notes.

This is really good insight into the dating rituals of the tribe known as Contemporary Women. They got jobs now, Hoss, so you better treat ‘em right. Otherwise, it’s gonna be a lonesome night tonight

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

I got the hungrys for your love 
and I’m waiting in your welfare line

Buck Owens, “Your Welfare Line”

I’m trying to find cringeworthy country and western lyrics, and it is not easy. There’s a lot of sappy lyrics, but that’s not the same. C&W songwriters use a lot of clever wordplay, and cleverness, I think, is a prophylactic against cringeworthiness.

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

Someone's always playing
corporation games.
Who cares they're always
changing corporation names.

Jefferson Airplane Jefferson Starship Starship, “We Built This City”

This one’s contextual.

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

It’s natural, it’s a release
It’s natural, it’s a release
It’s a release, it’s a release, it’s a release
It’s a release, it’s a release, it’s a release
A release from what? Your sexual appetite!?
Forget it! Get real!! It’s artificial sex!!!
 
(Chorus)
Masturbation – is artificial sex (x3)

—Lust Control “The Big ‘M’”

I needs me some Lust Control…the complete discography, in fact.

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

Because... Marilyn Manson ate my girlfriend.
Satan consumed her mind, and he may do it again.
Marylin Manson ate my girlfriend.
She once believed in the truth, now she belives in sin.

She denies God when she has the chance to live for him.
The thought of it makes me cringe.
Her future looks dim.
She'd rather gaze in Satan's eyes than on a steeple.
I'm really starting to despise beautiful people.

Relient K - “My Girlfriend”

bramble posted this.

FuckYeahCringeworthyLyrics

I got nasty habits, it's a fine line, 
so many girls and so little time 
When love rears its head, I wanna get on your case 
Ooh baby, wanna put my log in your fireplace

-Kiss, “Burn Bitch Burn”